Monday, September 5, 2011

Ambition...Me?

This may be appropriate for Labor Day since it's a day to honor the "social and economic achievements of workers." Or it may be entirely inappropriate, depending on how you look at it.  You see, this is a thought God has been dealing with me about lately through various means, but it's a sticky subject because while IT is a good thing, IT can be very bad if your motive is wrong.  I know that's kind of a cryptic way to start, (particularly since you may not know what IT is), but hopefully I'll be a little clearer as I go on.
I thought I would open this blog post with these verses.
James 4:13-16  Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:  (14)  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.  (15)  For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.  (16)  But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
Over the last few weeks, I have been reading two amazing books that were written in the 1800's by someone called E.D.E.N Southworth, titled Ishmael and Self Raised.  And I'm not just saying they were amazing because I'm interning with the publishing company who republished them!  (Although, if you do want to buy them, you could go to www.lamplighterpublishing.com and use my code, GUILD02, in the promo code box so I get credit. ;) haha just kidding about the credit thing, but seriously, you should look into finding these books somehow and reading them.)
In these books there is a lot of great, life-changing material, with admirable character role models, but to keep this relevant to my post, there was one character in particular that struck me, not as a role model, but as someone you SHOULDN'T follow.  The character's name was Claudia and in the book, she is part of a high class in society and has everything a girl could want, but she still wants more.  She wants to marry into an even higher class of society.  And so she consents to marry someone she doesn't love, even though there's someone else of a lower class but of a higher character whom she really cares for, just for the sake of the title this man can give her.  Now bear with me through this soap-opera-sounding explanation.  There's a particular scene in which just before the wedding Claudia goes to her cousin and confesses the state of mind in which she is doing it.  Her cousin begs and urges her not to go through with the marriage, but Claudia is determined and in the course of the conversation she says: "I must fulfill my destiny....I am in the power of the whirlpool or the demon."  Her cousin is horrified, and answers, "The name of the demon is Ambition, Claudia; and the name of the whirlpool is Ruin."  And Claudia responds, "Yes! it is ambition that possesses my very soul.  None other but the sins by which angels fell would have power to draw my soul from heaven."  Now, as you read the entire scene, which is much more heart-wrenching than the few lines I've shared here, especially since you already feel for the characters so much by this point of the book, (but I had a reason for sharing those particular lines); but as you read, your heart is screaming at Claudia to stop what she's doing.  Her total deprivation in her resolution seems so obvious, and it seems so clear that what she should do is lay aside her ambition and do what's right!  The reader can see that what she's after is so fleeting and temporal, and what she's giving up is so essential and eternal!  And yet, ambition seems to have such a strong hold on her!  I won't tell you, of course, whether or not she actually marries the guy, because that would spoil the book for you!  (I've probably already given away too much!)  But this scene left an impression on my mind, and I wanted to share it with you to make my point.
So coming back to the point, I was mowing the lawn the other day, which is a great reprieve a lot of times in my day, because it's so boring and gives me a chance to just think about things, but I was thinking of Claudia and the scene with ambition.   Now, while I was reading the scene, I certainly didn't identify myself with Claudia!  In fact, I thought she was acting idiotically, and I couldn't believe she was doing it!  (Yes, I get into my books.)  I rarely identify myself with the characters who mess things up...(I usually try to see myself as the hero, you know).  But as different thoughts were going through my head, God convicted me.   One of the reasons I've been writing so much about prayer is because I have been lacking in prayer over the last few months, and I've felt a revived sense of urgency to pray.  But these last couple months have been extremely busy for me!  I have been traveling all over, competing in the national Bible Quizzing tournament in Ohio, attending the Lamplighter Guild in New York, finishing up high school, starting college, helping out with various programs at my church, doing odd jobs to get a little bit of money, etc., etc.,.  And I started to realize how self-centered my focus has been.  I have had certain goals in my mind all summer...the Lamplighter Guild, Nationals, etc.  This is the time in my life when I'm beginning college, thinking about my career, preparing for my future.  And the word 'my' has been very prominent in what I've been doing.  In my head, I rationalize it, in that I'll be able to do great things for God once I attain these goals...but there are times and places where I can see that in my spirit, Ambition was rearing it's ugly head.
Let me define what I mean by 'Ambition' before I go any farther.  Dictionary.com has two definitions of Ambition that I want to point out.

am·bi·tion

[am-bish-uhn]
noun
1.
an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment: Too much ambition caused him to be disliked by his colleagues.
2.
desire for work or activity; energy: I awoke feeling tired and utterly lacking in ambition.

The first kind of ambition is the kind Claudia represents in my mind.  The second definition is the kind that is desirable to have.  It's the kind that Proverbs talks about over and over and over.  "Seest thou a man diligent in his business?  he shall stand before kings."   Interestingly, it's also personified in another character in the book, the hero, Ishmael Worth.  (We know he's the hero, because that's who the author named the book after.)  Ishmael is born in very, very humble circumstances, but through hard work, honesty, perseverance, and dedication he rises to a position of greatness.  This is also ambition--he desired this position and worked hard to get it.  But there's a difference between the ambitions of Ishmael and Claudia.  I'm drawn to the one and repelled by the other.  Why?  I believe it's because of the other striking thing about Ishmael, which is his servant's heart.  He is constantly serving others, and thinking of others and God's righteous causes before his own.  Several examples of this are given in the book which I won't give away, but I believe that this is the fundamental difference in the two types of ambition.  My pastor preached about it this last Sunday.  We are supposed to have ambition and work hard and be diligent...but the end result is supposed to be to glorify God and be about our Father's business.  Our attitude isn't supposed to be that we are working hard to achieve great things for ourselves!  But that we're working hard to glorify God and to serve others.  We must have the same attitude as John the Baptist-- "He must increase; I must decrease."
Claudia's ambition was to gain great fame and attention and wealth and prestige for herself.  Ishmael's was to attain a great station so that he could serve God and others.
We must humble ourselves in the sight of God.  I talked about this in my last post, but it bears repeating because it is such an important concept in God's kingdom.  When we are out to please and glorify ourselves, the result is that we will do the opposite.  Two passages of Scripture really bear this out to me.  Proverbs 16:18-19  Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.  (19)  Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.  And Jesus' words in Luke 14:11  For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
So as I begin this internship with Lamplighter, and work to get my college degree, and study for Bible Quizzing for next year, and develop relationships with people, and teach Bible studies, and get involved with a theater group, and attend an apprenticeship weekend, the Lord is reminding me: don't be about yourself.  Focus on God.  It is better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud because that's where God is at.  And I don't want to enter the Promised Land and not have the Presence of God go up with me.
One last passage of Scripture before I quit.  (Of course, you can stop reading at any time, but I'll try to keep my explanation short anyway.)  I read this the other day in the book of Jeremiah.  It's a short chapter...just five verses, and it's addressed to Baruch, who was kind of like Jeremiah's secretary.  But the last verse has a very profound, simple, important message.  The land is about to be destroyed because of Judah's sins, and God is very angry and grieved with the people of Israel.  So God is doing a work in the land, and yet it seems like Baruch is just thinking of himself and his ruined plans.  He's upset because God has brought about grief and sorrow in his life.  (That's true for us many times, too.  We get upset at God when we suffer, even if we know it's part of His plan.)  And at the end of the chapter God asks him, "Seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not."  I believe that applies to us as well.  And God's reason when He speaks to Baruch is that more intense suffering is coming on the land.  But if we have the spirit of John the Baptist, like I talked about earlier, or the Apostle Peter when he writes about their attitude of rejoicing in suffering in 1 Peter...then it won't matter that our plans to prosper ourselves were foiled.  Because it's not about seeking great things for ourselves.  It's about seeking Him.  And if you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all these things shall be added unto you.  I'll close out with a few verses from 1 Peter, and that last Scripture in Jeremiah, but I strongly encourage you to read the whole chapters.  (Come on, the one from Jeremiah is only 5 verses!  And 1 Peter is just awesome.)  I know God has been dealing with me about this stuff.  Maybe it's a good reminder for someone else who's reading this, too.
Jeremiah 45:5  And seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not: for, behold, I will bring evil upon all flesh, saith the LORD: but thy life will I give unto thee for a prey in all places whither thou goest.
1Peter 4:1-2  Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;  (2)  That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God....1Peter 4:11  If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
1Pe 5:5-6  Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.  (6)  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

God bless you.

1 comment:

  1. This is GREAT Michael! :) we all need to be reminded at times what is most important. To be about God's business rather than our own. And when we are about His business, HE rewards us and gives us the desires of our hearts. But our heart must first be centered on Him and not ourselves. Well written :)

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